this is my song to you, love, to let you know that you're hurting me
this is my soundless attempt, the "mature" way, of venting my anger
let's just ignore the fact that i'm tearing the paper, and staining the ink
because i can't handle the way you treat me anymore
you like to play these games, i know it because i've played them too
you'd never admit it but you're trying to hurt me, and it's working
and now i'm stuck here, throwing my phone against my bedroom floor
because i'm tired of calling only to be ignored.
i've been replaying these scenes as i try and analyze where we went wrong
impossible that we could ever be less than friends laughing always "on call"
i was there in the middle of the night when you couldn't control your tears
and now all i want to do is talk with you-- but you're not here.
it's not like i don't have other friends or like i've never been through this
and yes, i know that people change all the time, this is what "growing up" is
still i don't understand why it's suddenly ok for you to say it's natural
when it's not, you're not, can't you see this is not what you were meant for?
you don't hear me anymore, except when talking about meaningless things
you have no idea how sick i am of biting my tongue, it's swollen with silence
you said that things wouldn't change, i told you from the start they would
i have to wonder if this hurts because of you or because i care too much.
so i suppose this all wraps up in a saturday poem, as i sit watching the sky
i'm not going to call, not going to write, wait and hide in the fading light
hoping sunday will bring a restoration.
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This poem is really personal, and definitely one of my favorites from this month's creations. Also, the formatting is off and I'm tired of trying to edit to get it to fit.
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